Yes, indeed-y!

Well observed knit sibs! I was, in fact, wearing leg warmers.
It was 12 degrees, after all ;)

...four weeks later!

Hi there! Long time, no see. I’ve been meaning to write, but you know how life gets in the way?

So, since we last spoke?

Well, I got married.

(Awesome photography by Thorson Photography – I actually looked like a warthog, it’s all in the camera angles ;)

(Awesome hair, well, my hair, Heather’s and Sarah’s by Johanne’s Hair Do’s)

(Awesome flowers by Manuka Flowers)

(Wedding dress by Halo from La Belle)

(Veil from Brides of Manuka)

(Bridesmaids dresses from Events)

We went on honeymoon to Vanuatu. Many cocktails were consumed and massages enjoyed. All three and a half bikinis were needed (No proof of bikinis, children may be present).

I had to be removed with a crowbar. (Excellent house-sitting by Silkydoll)

We opened all our wedding presents and our jaws hit the floor. People are so thoughtful and generous – thankyou! Thankyou cards are in process… life just keeps getting in the way! The gifts of money allowed us to buy a (desperately needed) new fridge. October 23^rd is Fridge Day for the rest of my life! Thankyou!

I went back to work. Hurrah.

My surname has sort of changed but I’m still a Ms. This is very confusing to the under-16s. I have given the Miss, Ms, Mrs lecture to three classes so far. The girls either nod knowingly or gasp in comprehension and become feminists before my very eyes… and the yr 8 boys sadly ask me why they don’t get a special title (I’ve tried to explain, believe me).

My garden exploded while I was away and my Grannies Bonnets that were shoe-sized before I left are now shrubs. It is a very happy situation (except they set off Monkey’s hayfever). The irises I planted, hoping they’d be out for the wedding because they match my bouquet, are finally out. I LOVE them. And the roses are cusping

Life is good

Ms Spider xox

PS. No-one says you have to change your nom de plume when you get hitched, so there.

Excuse me Maude, I seem to be coming over all conservative..

Something old (my grandmother's moonstones we had set into earrings)Something new (my veil)Something borrowed (my grandmother's moonstone necklace)Something blue (my garter)Something inconvenient.... the weather!

Wish me luck :)
Ms Spider

update on drama

Ok, so thanks for all the support after my last post. It's been really nice to be told that my frustration was justified. So, here's what I've done.

I called up and canceled my regular spot with K. I then asked if there was a spot with L later in the week. No problem.

On Wednesday I was 30 min early so i went and worked out on the cardio equipment before my appointment. I had a slight panic when K arrived 5 mins before my appointment (What if the girl on the desk misunderstood???) but L showed up in time.
I explained to her (gently) that i wanted to see her from now on, and gave her the reasons it wasnt working. I tried really hard to be nice about it, but i think it was pretty obvious how stressed it had made me.

And the best part? I've finally lost 10 kilos since February! I'm not yet at my goal weight, but considering how much of a change there's been to my body in terms of actually having muscle covering now.... I dont know if I'm all that concerned if i don't lose any more. I'm really happy with what I've achieved, and while it'd be nice to look like a fashion model, I also feel healthy for the first time in at least 15 years. I can actually do push-ups now!

And i went to the doctor today and my blood test came back... and it's good news! It's pretty clear that I do have Coeliac's because the change in my blood since September (and the point where i started to do the gluten-free thing) in clear. However, if i want a proper diagnosis i have to eat gluten for a month (!!!!) and then have a biopsy. So, i know what my body does if i accidentally eat a teaspoon of wheat and that's enough of a diagnosis for me :)

There was a slight wedding drama when i discovered that another bridesmaid had bought the wrong dress but she's eternally efficient and the situation was sorted within 24 hours. Basically it bodes well for the wedding: my girls arent going to let anything get in the way of a good day!

It's all feeling very close... 53 days! But things seem to be falling into place. I'm determined to stay positive!

Hope everyone else is well and happy :)

Ms Spider xo

take a deep breath now

So apparently now I have 62 days to go. Arg!

The dress has been delayed. Was supposed to be early June and now it won't be at the shop until September 2nd. Considering the wedding date is 3rd October, it's taking a concerted effort not to hyperventilate about this. Busiest time of year for weddings, 4 weeks to fit...
My veil also appears to be taking longer than suggested - why is white so hard to get a hold of? If I wanted cream I could have walked out of the boutique with a new one in a packet! Every wedding shop treats me like a freak of nature because white suits me better... I'm trying to take it as a sign that I'm special.
The jeweler ordered Monkey's ring in the wrong size - apparently Q and O are too hard to tell apart.

I finished weaving the bridesmaids stoles this week, which is a huge relief. it's not that they were at all difficult, it's just warping is a pain in the butt. Has anyone worked out a more efficient method than shoving loose bits of paper in as you wind up the warp? I also found these earrings at Diva, which i think are perfect for the bridesmaids. I love them so much that i bought myself a pair too.

On the weight-loss front, I'm doing really well. From February to May i lost about 4 kilos on my own, and then I joined Fernwood to give me a boost. Since I joined I've lost another 5, and i actually have muscle tone again. I feel like I'm getting my body back.
Through Fernwood I have had help through their Slimplicity program, but I have to say I'm ambivalent as to how helpful it's been. To start with, their daily food allowances gives you 1200 calories, and everywhere else I've looked suggests that this is way too low for my height and level of excercise. Dangerous even.
Also, I am doing a great deal of weights training, and the protein allowance for one day is 90g. This is less than a small tin of tuna.
So, basically, I've been ignoring it. I already ate quite well, but I've cut down on sugar and high-fat foods, and upped my already high intake of fruit and veg. I also read up on the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet, which makes HEAPS more sense. Plenty of protein, enough carbs for energy but not so much that it's awkward for me (who doesnt eat gluten and is out of the habit of eating any breads etc). lots of fruit and all the veges i can eat. perfect.
Problem is, I am between two consultants at the gym. One, I'll call her L, is lovely. late 30's, motherly, relaxed and positive. Every gram I lose is an achievement and she understands that i'm modifying the diet to suit my needs. The other lady, K (late 20's), is driving me nuts.
Now, before i go on too much, I need to explain my position. I gained weight because i was sick, for a long long time. The coeliac's affected my vitamin levels and i was physically sick all the time, just working 5 days sent me spiraling into exhaustion at night and weekends, migraine headaches, fatigue, nausea (on and off since age 7)... plus medication for depression etc over the last 10 years that all cause weight-gain. My weight-gain was not due to lack of self-control. I do not eat 20 donuts a day, i have never eaten at McDonalds... I enjoy excercise. I have good eating habits, despite my sweet tooth. I do indulge, but i'm not stupid about it.
Now L totally gets all this. She is awesome. Unfortunately, without any real warning, half the time i end up booked in with K. K clearly has one approach to motivating weight loss clients - fear. when i re-gained 500g due to bloat she gave me a telling off like no other, despite my telling her I was having a shocker period and had probably gained. When i lost a kilo in a week, she tells me (very sarcy) "see what you can achieve when you follow the program?". For starters, I am NOT following their sadistic program, and secondly she needs to back off before i smack her in the teeth.
I dont think I'm being unreasonable to expect her to modify her approach for me. After all, I'm paying for the priviledge. I've rebelled so far by refusing to keep a food diary any more (she doesnt trust me, despite 2 months of identical daily food lists). It's all very passive aggressive - i just dont bring it and tell her i forgot. I'm honest with her about what i eat, i tell her i had a couple of minties a few days ago ("We just have to make sure it isnt every snack, mm-kay?" Knowing look, ARGGG).
She also tells me my weight and measurements like a) she is giving me a gift that she made herself and b) she owns this knowledge about my body and i should be grateful that she chose to share. I know what I weigh. I know my measurements. I measure myself every week to make sure my knitting is going to fit. She wants me to thank her for all the hard work i have done.
Any suggestions about what I do about this would be appreciated. I dont want to be nasty, and i dont particularly want to complain to her manager, but i also dont want to keep paying for a weekly reprimand (whether i do well or not).

In knitting news, I joined the ravelry group NaKniSweMoDo (National Knit a Sweater a Month Dodecathon) earlier this year and am quite chuffed to announce I am up to number 11 :D
Number 1
Number 2
Number 3
Number 4
Number 5
Number 6
Number 7
Number 8Number 9
Number 10

Number 11 is Slinky Ribs by Wendy Bernard in Bendigo Harmony. More news on that one when i finish. More details for all projects here

ok, enough now. phew!

peace out,
Ms Spider xo

Yawngirls and Transborers

So, I've just spent the last few hours of my life watching Dreamgirls. Can I just ask, when did having a plot go out of fashion? This is the second new(ish) film I've seen recently and both times I've wanted those wasted hours back.
Now, I understand that this was originally a musical, so I have no-one really to blame for the utter lack of any memorable songs (except maybe 'Dreamgirls' because it's intensely irritating and therefore memorable, and 'One Night Only' because it's actually sung by someone with a vocal range). Clearly the directer was crippled. And I suppose the sequence of events is down to the original musical also.
But, honest to Dog, I spent the entire film trying to decide who I was supposed to like and where the whole thing was heading.
Now, don't get me wrong. There is definitely talent in this film. The young woman who plays Effie White, Jennifer Hudson, has a sensational voice and 'stage' presence. Eddie Murphy's performance is also fabulous. I was charmed by the both of them.
Beyonce on the other hand... look, she can sing, dance and act well. I really think she did what she could with the part, but I spent the whole film really trying to like her and finding her dim, two-dimensional, and lacking a backbone. And I was prepared to like her in a Bridget-Jones-is-meant-to-be-useless kind of way, until she runs off with her friend's fella. So then I couldn't really forgive her, frankly, moronic obediance and politeness because she wasn't even genuinely nice.
The chap (Jamie Foxx apparently) who plays the ne'er do well fella that Beyonce runs off with is about as convincing as a porridge sandwich. I suppose the mustache is there to add an air of mystique and danger, but it's rather like he's lost a battle with a Vegemite sandwich. He spends the whole movie bullshitting people, screwing people over, cheating on women, having dodgy business practice and treating his wife like a product... and he's really very irritating. You might say this is down to him being the 'bad guy', but i actually think he irritates me because the performance was sub par. There's absolutely no range to his performance: he's the same pratt in the first scene as in the last... at least everyone else managed a superficial bit of development.
The costuming and set, mise en scene etc are all sensational, and I remember why I wanted to see it - the preview looked very exciting. And it is kind of exciting... in a "something might happen eventually" kind of way.
There are lots of great singers and everything, but they have this unfortunate tendency to break into pointless and confusing songs that you're never really sure are supposed to make sense. The suspension of disbelief is difficult in musicals anyway, but for some reason five totally disparate people breaking into the same song in perfect harmony felt really stupid in this film.

It did have it's merits. It isn't the worst film I've ever seen... by a long shot. And perhaps I'm just getting old, and this dissatisfaction is a sign of a premature middle age.

However, I will just add that I recently saw (or more accurately, was forced to watch) Transformers II. Good grief! So as not to numb the minds of the two people who've managed to make it this far, I'll give you dot points:

• Every female in the film, except for the protagonist's mum, looks like an extra from a Swedish porn film. There are now millions of teenage boys who want to attend college/uni just to see the silicon heave!
• There is a scrap of a plot, in all honesty, but it's disjointed and confusing and random ideas seem to emerge and then disappear with no real impact on anything.
• I loved Transformers cartoons as a child, and was actually managed to stomach all the cheese until the last hour...
• when it took 40 minutes for the protagonist to do something vital.
• and we watch him and his porn-esque girlfriend run, dodging explosions and giant fighting robots.
  
• on a totally separate note, don't run if you have fake boobs and a low cut top. It looks hilarious.
• And every time they fall over i wanted to scream "just stay down, you twat!"
• And then she twists her fecking ankle (no, really).
  
• and then the ending doesn't even make sense and the supposed 'romantic' resolution is about as convincing as John Howard's smile.
  
• Oh, and every scene consists of a million fast-pan shots of even the most mediocre scene... picture me sitting here typing, except the camera is panning around me Matrix-style, and then close up of my eye and then my brow creases, and then my foot tapping and then a super-close up of the keyboard... now picture that happening, with a booming tuneless soundtrack for three hours.
  
• OK, I'm done

Thanks for tolerating my winge. I'm sure one day I'll see fit to tell you all something about the impending wedding... or, you know, some knitting or something. One day. When I'm a little less grumpy.

Seen any shockers lately?

the grumpy
Ms Spider xox

some holiday..

1. Take one overwrought, overworked and emotionally exhausted teacher.
2. Add two weeks without school, sifted with 5-6 weights training sessions and 10-12 cardio sessions and a (boring) controlled diet.
3. Stir in wedding-stress concentrate (3 or 4 cups). Sprinkle residual school-stress to season.
4. Leave to sit overnight, or until the stress mixture has doubled in size.
5. Fold in appointments with a florist, a cake-maker, a bridal boutique, a dance instructor and a photographer (allow for the stress-mixture increasing in size as financial deposits are added).
6. Purchase and add sugared almonds and the makings of bomboniere.
7. After 5 days, add 125 hours of flu. Sift a light layer of I-can't-work-out-because-i'm-sick and cover with a damp cloth.
8. Fold and construct 85 clear plastic noodle boxes. Be sure to damage both sets of thumb and first finger tips so knitting will be painful.
9. Discover that your veil wont arrive for weeks so you cant get the practice hair-do done during the break. (Hysterical giggle optional)
10. Call dress shop to discover they have no idea why the dress hasn't appeared yet. Fold in the fear that teacher will have nothing to wear but wedding shoes and necklace on the day (try to calm teacher with the knowledge that the groom will be happy with this)
11. Get period a week early, and sprinkle a generous amount of depressing bloat to undermine all the hard work at the gym. Gain 500g and get told off by weight-consultant at gym (I know, right?). Add a stern reminder that 10 kilos need to go in 12 weeks (slight hyperventilation is normal)
12. Get an email from easyweddings.com - 80 days to go!
13. Remind teacher that school starts again in 4 days.

Serves one, plus hors d'oevre sized portions for friends and family. Has a remarkably long shelf-life, and often increases in intensity of flavour and size over time.